Dear Body,

Well body, tomorrow is the day we meet with the bariatric team to see what is what.  I have no idea what is in store for us but if the universe is willing we are in for a hell of a ride and some pretty major changes over the course of the next 6 months.

I know I have put you through a lot, between the disordered eating and the self hate (and lord knows there was a lot of self-hate), I apologize for that and I want to thank you for sticking it out this long.  Seriously, thank you for doing all the amazing things you do so well.

We have had a hell of a journey haven’t we?  From the time we became lifetime members at WW when we were 15, to gaining mass amounts of weight at 18 while eating salads before they figured out our thyroid went all to shit, to losing weight with the help of Meridia and a very low calorie diet, binge eating until any kind of motion made you want to throw up,  to gaining that weight back and then extra, to me punishing you for being fat  (because you know that worked super well) with hours spent on a treadmill, and then  finding kickboxing and spending hours there.  You have never failed me.  I appreciate that, I appreciate it a lot.

I know I haven’t been the best friend I should have been, but over the last 2 years I think you and I both know I have taken a lot of steps to fix that, and today I can say that I do love you.  I love you for everything you are, everything you will be, all your scars, your lumps, your bumps, your imperfections… they are perfect – even if society still doesn’t want to  agree with that deceleration.

I hope you know I am in this for the long haul, it isn’t going to be easy – but lets be truthful, nothing I ever do to us is easy is it?  This is our next test, I can’t wait to see where we end up, and how we end up there.

Buckle up, I have a feeling this is going to test our mind, our strength and everything we have worked for thus far, but I have a feeling you will be on board with me – you haven’t let me down yet.

With love,
Pixi

PS. I know this is scary, just trust me for once okay?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s