This weekend I was pushed out of my comfort zone, and who pushed me out of that space? Well I did of course.
I signed up for a Foamfest 5K with some friends, I wasn’t exactly nervous but I kept remember that I did a Spartan 4 years ago and nearly died, and skipped a ton of obstacles, and while I felt fantastic for finishing the race I still feel like a big pile of poo for skipping stuff that I couldn’t get my chunky ass over. Anxiety started to flood my head, my friend is someone I go to the gym with, the other 2 people are friends of hers, what if I make an ass of myself? What if I can’t do this. What if….?
What if was my motto for a week leading up to the 5K. Saturday came, I got dressed. I mentally prepared, I am 30 pounds heavier than I was 4 years ago, undoubtedly there are going to be obstacles that I am going to have to pull my large ass up and over. Ahhh I am not ready for this, I should have waited until next year (because waiting until next year always makes sense… NOT).
We go there, got our race packet, took some pictures, checked our bags and got ready to head to the starting line.
While waiting for our heat to start we were standing around, people were jumping and singing and dancing but not me, I was in my own head about having to run for like 5 minutes, running is stupid and I don’t do it so this was a challenge. I did it. I ran but I did not enjoy it at all.
The first obstacle came and went, we hit one KM and I went “good lord that is only 1km I have 4 more of this shit left?” (I am a major ray of sunshine), there was water slides, and mudcrawls and water hazards, and more water slides, and some foamy jumpy things and then the big slide (BTW.. the big slide is by for the best part, I would do that all day every day if I could.) Over all it was a good time, lots of fun – so many laughs, most of them at me because I am so short that some obstacles were nearly impossible for me to do, there was a lot of running and jumping and rolling and trying not to break myself in the process.
At the end of the day thought it was fun, there were 2 obstacles I couldn’t complete – one a rope wall walk – I kept getting tangled and it frustrated me so I quit, the second was a wall climb, which I COULD have done had I not kept slipping and scaring myself) but oh well not bad considering 4 years ago I skipped a lot of obstacles because I was out of shape and had no business doing an OCR. This year was a different story and I had to shut the What if… portion down and repeat “I CAN do this and I WILL do this”.
Sunday I visited with family. If your family gets togethers are anything like mine they involve food, and not just a little food but a lot of food, because food makes the world go round or something like that. My family centers visits around a lot of food, veggies, and main courses, and desserts and oh my… In true gramma fashion there was home made apple pie. I love my gramma’s apple pie, there is no apple pie in this world that even compares to her apple pie, and of course following the rules means no apple pie (lies it meant I could have apple pie, if I forgo something else that would probably fill me better in the end), so I skipped apple pie and ice cream and there were a lot of questions that I skirted around because I have chosen to keep this whole weight loss stuff private for the most part, my immediate family knows, my gramma knows but I don’t need everyone knowing and asking and posting about it on facebook (hello no the world doesn’t need to know my business that way)
If you are still reading this congratulations! You are probably wondering when I am going to get to the missing of my beloved iced coffees, well dear reader the answer is right now.
I miss them, I miss them a hell of a lot. I used to grab one every morning on my way to work and now I can’t do that, the last Iced Coffee I had was June 20th. I could have them, decaf is fine however; the problem lies in the calories, I cannot and will not sacrifice 100 – 150 calories for a drink that lasts me roughly 3.5 seconds (it last longer but not a lot longer) that 100 – 150 calories (minimum) can go into my belly in the form of actual food because actual food goes a lot longer than an iced coffee does. Logical right? yeah I know BUT that doesn’t make me miss that shit any less.